TOTAL SEX

It was on October 24 and 25 of 2015 when I wrote about “Making love at full or with restrictions”. Those two articles get the biggest number of readers in the whole history of this blog.

After five years, many things have happened in society and I think I should return to the main topic: sex.

Sex is the culmination or it is the base of a relation of love. The couple (a man and a woman) have sex because they love each other so much that intimacy is a logical and expected consequence.

But…(and this is a big but) it is also true that an increasing number of couples or even without being a couple, have sex for the sake of it, for a moment of pleasure, because they are looking for tenderness, or because they need to feel better.

Will they be gratified or not once they have consummated the activity? What do they think sex is and how to perform it?. One is satisfied and the other not? Some of them don’t like or resist what the companion likes or wants to do?

Those are things that have to be clarified before engaging in sexual activity.

You will be surprised if you realize how many taboos, restrictions, and “no” are related to sex.

Here is what I want quite frankly to tell all of you, based on the reading of books and web pages, on what sexologists say, and on my experience.

1) You must be ready to have a full relationship, which means that the word “no” is forbidden.

2) Don’t be afraid of anything, provided the relationship is not sado-masochistic, includes weapons, alcohol or drugs. If you want to avoid pregnancy, either the woman uses pill or the man has to use condom.

3) Do agree on the way to do something, but not in not doing something.

4) Your body is hers, her body is yours.

5) There is not part of the body restricted. Let yourself feel free and enjoy everything and anything.

6) No one is dominating the other; on the contrary, both complement each other with all the will and intention to do so.

7) The greatest happiness is to make your partner happy and this is reciprocal.

8) Behave like a mature person, not a childish one.

9) The sex you practice is only and exclusively yours. You should not share what you feel or what you do with anyone else.

10) Make the sex you have to make you feel increasingly united with your partner if you wish so.

These are not Ten Commandments, just suggestions that will make you feel secure of yourself, really happy and comfortable. 

Milton W. Hourcade
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