And also we are really shocked when we face a different way of being, of understand human relationships, values, etc.
Sometimes we can fall in love with a person, and we think that the things we say and do will be totally accepted and that the way we behave related to our feelings is correct and it is what the other person expects.
But many times that is not the case. As well we cannot accept how the other person behaves or the ideas she or he has.
For example, if we deal with a woman of Korea or India, we’ll learn that no matter if we fall in love with someone, that person will need the approval of her parents to become our fiancé and later our spouse.
There, the parents of both people, the woman and the man, have to reach an agreement –that usually implies also money— to concrete the marriage of them. If that agreement is not reached, no matter how much they could love each other, they know that their marriage won't be possible.
For an Occidental person, that “patronage” of the parents and their decision over the lives of their descendents is not fair and acceptable. But…those are the rules among them.
Let’s come now to our Occident, where sexual relations in other times was a subject about which nobody will openly talk, and about which there were so many taboos. Today youngsters of 15 years old and even younger have sexual relations, many times with the consent of the parents that even give them a room to be alone in their homes.
That does not mean that from that relationship they will go to their marriage, and so on.
It is almost sure that such a relationship will end after some months or a couple of years. They are too young to know what they really want and to assume all the things they will have to deal with provided they get married and have children.
In some cases, they get married, have one or two children, and then they separate or divorce. Being more mature, they realize that what they have chosen was not the best they wanted for themselves.
That is why among these people the great and very important feeling of love is minimized, becomes something circumstantial, something that could happen with a person today and with another one tomorrow.
And some people, men and women, become used to this. They are not able to accommodate in a permanent way to any relationship, they feel the need to search for another one. In certain way –that they believe for themselves— it is with the hope to find the real one, the one they desire and expected.
The problem is that no one is perfect, and they will easily find defects or things they don't like, so they feel they need to know another person. And believe me, some men and women are permanently in that kind of play. They never feel satisfied. Just for a time or a moment, and they need to go again to the venture of finding “the one” that in reality becomes the impossible.
There is another problem that goes along this kind of attitude and life. These people don’t care about the other person, the one that they initially choose and later –without any remorse— leave to his/her own devices, without feeling responsible for the damage they have caused. That is one of the worst consequences of a way to behave irresponsible, incoherent, and above all with disrespect and lack of a real human feeling.
Therefore, that kind of people are always in search. They could have a permanent situation, like for instance, being married. But besides their marriage or parallel to that, they like, enjoy and look for the emotion that produces in them the adventure, to run certain measured risk, and feel new kisses, touches, etc.
In México and Central America, that is very common.
I have known married women taking opportunities to deal with men –don’t matter if they were single or married-- provided they could have intimacy with them for hours or days.
Among many other occasions like festivities— one in which they take a chance to try to find someone, is in international events.
As they are alone, --their husbands are far away— they try to be always with someone they have chosen. They entertain conversations, and highly possible during the same event-- usually happening in a hotel, they will go together to one of their rooms to be alone.
One friend told me the case of a Mexican woman –a journalist that was participating in an international convention and went with her cameraman. This woman was absent throughout the event, exception the first day, and when there was a feast. The cameraman was also absent.
I knew personally the case of a Panamanian woman also participating in an international event. One night, while all the people were meeting in one place, she escaped holding hands with a young Costarrican man, going directly to his room in the hotel.
Later I came to know that she was married and with two children. Her attitude there was that of a free woman, a single one.
This kind of things, this kind of behavior is quite common in those countries.
You can see –for instance— a group of five or six Mexican women on a TV Channel, (be Televisa, TV Azteca, Telemundo or Univision) making comments about the romance of one person or another, and you’ll find how lightly they deal with the life of those persons, and how funny they found that they have their love affairs, no matter if they are married or not.
I would tend to say that what that kind of peopel can feel is a strong attraction for a moment or a limited time, what properly is called infatuation, and later they feel the need to know another person.
At the end, they became known for what they are and what they do, at least in certain circles, and they don’t care.
There are some of these people that are more discreet and care about the appearances. They surround them of mystery, of hiding things, and they abhor to be exposed or that their love affairs could be known. But that is just to continue without troubles with their life style.
That is why the cultural factor could affect what you can expect from a person belonging to another culture. The rules are not the same the behavior is not the same. And if you are not aware of that, you can suffer the consequences.
Now I need to clarify something. Those women don’t behave that way for any kind of compensation or reward. They do that because they need to feel loved, pampered, recognized, being important to someone.
Probably their spouses are individuals that work too much, they arrive tired to their homes, their sexual life is very little, they are nothing romantic, and they lack the spirit of love adventure.
Of course that if they deal with a gentleman he could have the pleasure to get some gifts for them, invite them to a dinner in a very special restaurant, a concert in a theater, a trip to Miami or to stay some days together at a beach in the Riviera Maya.
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NOTE: Google do not allow me to put videos with music here. They say it is a violation to their Ad Sense rules.Milton W. Hourcade
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